Compassion is such an important element of healing. It's not just about showing compassion to others, but also showing compassion to ourselves. After all, if we are not compassionate to ourselves how can we begin to fathom true compassion to others? Scripture tells us "...love others as yourself". You have to love self before you can love others. Perhaps this is where the disconnect begins - we are void of self-compassion and therefore do not know how to show compassion outwardly.

What are some areas where you need to show yourself some compassion? You may not be quite ready to do this across the board, but you can start somewhere.

• Appreciate yourself as a human being - flaws and all, you have value and purpose
  
• Understand your feelings - this means you will need to spend some time intentionally listening and analyzing your emotions
  
• Communicate understanding to yourself - acknowledge your struggles, your hurts, your unrealized expectations; then work to set down the weight you've been carrying
  

If there is habitual sin struggle happening, seek prayerful support from trusted friends. Set up accountability steps to help you manage, mitigate, and turn from the triggers. It is a process and we are all in it, my friend. Grace over it all.

As you walk along, reimagining your healing journey, make sure to create space and time for reflection. I am in no way incinuating that you need to dwell on the past - make no mistake. I am encouraging you to sit and ponder your past. Grab a pen and some paper and let your mind pour out words, phrases, ideas through your fingers. Don't grab your computer. There is something more cathartic about the act of writing.

Reflect on your childhood and how it has shaped your life to this point. Forgive those who were charged with raising you and obviously failed you in some way. They are human and holding a grudge only hurts you. Work to pray over the pain and release it. You will have to do this more than once. In this step, allow yourself grace. You will need it as you grieve - and you will grieve.

Reflect on friendships. Do you have people in your life that have been there since childhood? What is it about them that makes you work at those relationships? What are the characteristics those people possess that you realize you need in your life? What do you offer those relationships? Take some time to ponder the reason, season, or lifetime you have spent with people. Then, please send a handwritten note (if you can) to those who are a blessing in your life. You know they are a blessing to you... but do they? Don't assume they know what you mean to them.

Reflect on the losses you've endured. Family, friends, children, spouses, pets, expectations that you had and have said farewell too. Again, give yourself grace as you grieve. As your chest grows heavy, lean into the grieve that will wash over you. Pray over the pain of loss and work to let it go. This will likely be another area you will need to revisit more than once.

Reflect on the blessings that have glittered your lifetime. Spend the most time here because it is the more life-giving. Consider the roof over your head, the clothes on your back, the food in your belly, the laughter you enjoy, the relationships that matter, the money you have, the freedom you enjoy, your health (yes, even a sickness can be a blessing if you choose to see it as such), etc. Blessings can come through all sorts of avenues: a job you didn't want but provided for your family; a little extra cash in your pocket; a extra long line at the store that allowed you to read a beautiful article in a sea of what is typically garbage news; a conversation with a friend you haven't talked to in too long...

Reflect on how you treat yourself. Do you speak love to yourself or disapproval? Was that something that was modeled for you? Scripture tells us "love others as you love yourself". We cannot love others until we have love for ourselves. This is NOT pride - this is self-care, self-love, self-value, honoring your boundaries, honoring your gifts and talents, making space for YOU in the midst of caring for everyone else. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (if you are a Believer). Are you cleaning out the junk and dust? Are you feeding it what it needs (not just food but also visually, audibly, etc)? Are you taking into account that your temple is NOT someone elses temple? Do not compare - that will only steal your joy.

Reflection will stir up unpleasantness. That I can promise. Do not fear! Explore the unpleasant. Explore the pain. Explore the context of all you experienced. Spread grace over it all. Embrace the pain one last time and then release it as you would a dear friend who has been called away from you, never to return. That pain shaped you into who you are today - and that is not a bad thing. "Choose this day whom you will serve..." Choose to serve the Lord, be kind to yourself, do the next right thing.

Today is Thanksgiving. On this day American culture would have you believe you have to create the most Pinterest-worthy environment for as many people as could walk through your home between the hours of 1-8pm. The pictures show a perfectly roasted turkey with all the trimmings, large numbers of people with smiles on their faces and mugs of hot beverages in their hands. Sweaters, scarfs, and all things fall - pumpkins, gourds, maple leaves, twiggy trees, apples, cloves, etc.

Is this picture acceptable? Certainly, if you are the kind of person that loves cultivating it, nurturing it, preparing it, cleaning up after it.

But what if you're not that person? Is there still space for you this day? Yes, yes there is. How do I know? Because I am this person... the person who does not thrive in the Thanksgiving chaos, despite being an extrovert. Hospitality, as pictured in the William Sonoma catalog, is not a gift I possess. I love having people over, in small numbers, so that I can spend intentional time with them. I love encouraging people to kick off their shoes, snuggle up on my couch, and invite them to partake of the refrigerator rights they obtain just by walking through my front door. I love to focus my attention on the person instead of multi-tasking and giving them less than my full attention.
The images below are not intended for comparison... they are meant to show two very different ways of celebrating a day geared toward thankfulness.

Gratitude isn't about keeping up with the Joneses. It is the posture of surveying what you have, Pinterest fails and all, and still finding something to be grateful for. Gratitude walks hand in hand with ​perspective. ​

So, if you are a Pinterest-perfect person, be grateful for the artfulness you embody and the way you can share beauty with others.
If you a Pineterst-fail person, like me, be grateful that your worth is not found in your artistic abilities.
There is no one right way to do Thanksgiving. Your way is just fine. Do not spend one moment comparing yourself or your decor to another... that is apples to oranges and serves no one well.

All people, be grateful for what you have. Not only because there is always someone else dreaming, praying, wishing for you have but because a grateful heart will have joy and not merely fleeting happiness.

If you are completely new to essential oils, click here to read some Essential Oil 4-1-1. My family has been using essential oils since 2013. We use these drops of awesomesauce to support our bodies as they work to heal themselves.

During my youngest son's cancer journey we used the following oils daily to support his body - physically, emotionally, spiritually.

As you consider adding essential oils to your life, take some time to read through this FREE eBook that dōTERRA created just for you.

PLEASE, if you have ANY questions, contact me so we can chat about the essential oils that would best meet your needs on YOUR personal wellness journey. Below is one of my favorite kits. 10 of the most popular oils with​ a diffuser. Perfection.

I think we often times feel that peace comes after the healing. I beg to differ. I think peace is more the path to healing. Well, an element of healing, anyway.

Think about it, if you don't have peace in your home, how can you heal? If there is constant stress being hurled around and you are kept in fight or flight mode, there will be no healing. Your body will be perpetually revved up and unable to calm down. The calming down is necessary for healing to occur.

If your workplace is demanding and highly stressful, how can you heal? People breathing down your neck or the weight of the company on your shoulders... healing cannot happen in this environment.

You MUST find what brings you peace! Is it a sunset? Run to it! Is the the lake in the mountains? Drive to it! Is it the sand at the dunes? Get on it! Is it a fire in your fireplace with a warm beverage in your hand? Make this happen!

When people tell me "I love to be busy" or "I thrive on stress" I start to pray for them. Busyness and stress are unhealthy and speak volumes to me about their perception of themselves. If you have a hard time slowing down and being still, your body will make you pay for it in one way or another. The relationships that matter will suffer. People's expectation of you to perforn will never cease and you will be stuck in a vicious cycle of dis-ease.

I can already feel some people pushing back at this notion. Let me just remind you of something. Genesis 1 talks about God creating everything. The last thing to be created was man. We tend to think that when God created man he, man, just turned right around and got to work, tending to the beasts and soil. THIS IS NOT TRUE. Man was created on Day 6 and Day 7 moves us into Genesis 2. What happened on Day 7? God rested, right. He set Day 7 apart as holy - a day to sit back, rest, relax, and enjoy the fruits of labor. Day 7 was a day of appreciating and man joined in.

So, man's first "job" was to rest in the Lord's work. Do you practice this exercise? Do you regularly take Sabbath time for yourself to be with the Lord or to sit back and enjoy nature? If you don't, why not? What is so important that you cannot give yourself time to reflect, ponder, give thanks, and move into the next time with reverence and refreshment?

This is my challenge to you - create a time of Sabbath and then set fixed boundaries around it. When you are able to unplug, for even an hour, your are telling yourself "I am worthy" and that will translate into other areas of life. I am not telling you something you do not know. If you've been on the rock long enough to be able to read this post you KNOW what I'm saying to be true. What I am doing is giving you permission to do so.

Strength comes from the Lord. So, in my weakness HIS strength flows through me... what you see and call my strength is truly HIS streamth being perfected in my weakness.

May I always seek to give HIM the glory for my existence in and through trials.

What are you thankful for? Do you remember to praise God for those things?

Activity:
Make a list of 10 things you are thankful for.
Place that list in a location you will see every day.
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This will encourage you to shift your focus to the positive.

Acceptance doesn't mean tolerance. Acceptance is giving consent to receive something whereas tolerance is the capacity to endure continued subjugation. These are obviously NOT equal.

Why is acceptance part of healing? Well, you always have two choices - to accept your reality or deny it. Denying it will never allow you the opportunity to heal because you are constantly saying "there is nothing wrong". When you accept that something is wrong you can then begin to seek out solutions and create and action plan.
Example: I had severe knee pain. I had two choices - to accept that something was wrong or deny that something was wrong. Denying there was a problem left me in pain and without a solution. Accepting there was a problem allowed me the freedom to go search out a solution. In this case the solution was major - reconstructive surgery due to a severed ligament.

Imagine if I had continued to deny there was a problem! What more could have been damaged? I would still be suffering with chronic pain! But accepting my condition brought about a change, freedom, and healing.

The same goes for accepting people. Once you choose to accept a person for who they are you can then take the next step and decide if who they are fits within the healthy boundaries you have set for yourself and the presence of others in your life.
Example: you have a toxic friend (you pick your toxin). You have two choices - accept that something is wrong or deny that something is wrong. If you accept there is something wrong, you can then choose whether or not you will continue to allow their brand of toxin in your life. If you deny there is something wrong you have no option but to continue allowing their toxicity to exist in your world.

A clue: you cannot heal properly if there is perpetural toxicity in your life.

Acceptance is the only way to have the freedom to find a solution.

One last thought - acceptance and love are not interchangeable. Many proclaim the phrase "You have to accept me as I am" with the notion being that you must not only accept them as they are but you must also continue to allow them in your life. This is not true. You can accept someone is the way they are and then decide that they are not a good fit for your healthy life. You can love them from afar and be entirely genuine in that love. Remember, you have two choices. Just because someone doesn't like your choice doesn't make that choice invalid.